07 August 2017

Weighing In

If you've followed this blog for any length of time you know that I have had a struggle with my weight my entire adult life.  I chronicled much of that in another blog related to my weight loss surgery in 2013.  In the grand scheme of things I lost over 100 pounds.  Woohoo!  It was exciting to achieve that milestone.  At my lightest, just before I met Phillip, I was down to 179.  Nine pounds from my goal weight of 170.

So where am I today?  If you follow me on Instagram and watch my stories, you might have an idea.

Not where I want to be.  After I hit 179, I hovered anywhere from 180-185 for a bit and then lately, it's crept up more to where I am at 195.  And I am not happy about it.  I have no one to blame but myself.  Phillip and I were chatting about it the other day because he asked if it was him, since I had gained the weight since we met.  And honestly, the answer is no.  It really has nothing to do with him or the choices we make together about what we eat.  The blame is entirely with me. 

You, as the average reader, might not be able to tell I've gained 10 pounds.  But I can.  How did I get here?  I got lazy.  Not with my workouts, but with my eating.  Making easy, lazy choices instead of better for me choices.  I am great at meal planning, but I am terrible at exerting will power or control over "surprise food".  You know, when you get to a meeting and there is breakfast or snacks like cookies or muffins.  I am so so bad at saying no to those things.  And I need to.  

Saturday is my Weight Watchers weigh in day is Saturday.  I was 195 at the last weigh in.  Ugh.  I am so frustrated with myself that I am typing that weight in for the world to see.  It's only been two days since that weigh in but I have been DILIGENT about tracking.  Something I had been increasingly lazy about.  

Also...I need to not graze.  I need to eat my planned meals and snacks and let it go.  When I want to graze my new plan is to drink water instead.  I am determined to get to my goal weight.  I know that if I can exert some will power and control I can get there. I lost over 100, I can lose 25.  To keep myself accountable I am going to start posting more on the blog about my weight loss and my weight watchers journey.  

I love the life I have  and want to continue being the healthy, active person I became after I lost the weight.  I need to not be lazy about my choices and stick to my plans.  The wedding is in 83 days.  I know I won't be at goal weight by then, but I can be well on my way and feel my best the day I walk down the aisle. 

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