07 September 2009

Homesick

Every so often I hit a wave of homesickness. It doesn't happen a lot. I mean, I've traveled away from home since I was 3 years old. I'd leave my parents for a weekend at Grandma's or a road trip with Grandma and the marching band (another story for another day) without so much as a backwards glance. I didn't cry, I didn't beg to go home, I liked being away. Don't get me wrong, I liked coming home. I love going home. But I guess you could say I've always had a bit of wanderlust in my soul. It's allowed me to travel all over the US and go to school away from home and live and work in Maine and New York and Louisiana and North Carolina.

I love North Carolina. I have friends here, I like my classes at NCSU, and I love my job at Duke. There are moments though where I wish I could transplant this whole experience to my mom's backyard in North Providence. Its the little things that get me. Seeing someone's birthday on my calendar or Jim & Beej posting video of Jack and Lila on Facebook and my my heart aches for a bit and I get a little weepy. It's hard sometimes being so far away from everyone that you hold so very dear.

For those of you who know the barest things about me, my family - my big, huge, Italian-American family - are pretty much all in Rhode Island and Southeast Mass. I grew up with my cousins. We'd spend weekends together just hanging around, making up dances, playing games, swimming in grandma's pool. My aunts and uncles are the best. I love my parents and I have an awesome stepfamily. And here I sit on a long holiday weekend, reading about research methods and getting a little wistful about football seasons past where we'd all cheer on the Patriots or go to Auntie Lorri's for a soup party. My cousins have babies now and I'm missing watching them grow up. It's hard going home every few months and be a stranger to these little ones. Especially since I have no children of my own. I love my life, and I like the person I've become. I just get a little homesick every now and again.

3 comments :

Mom said...

Miss you, too. It was great that I had gone down in January and you came home a few times since then. That is the most we have seen each other in a years span for quite some time. I am so excited that you are able to come home for Christmas!!! It's been awhile since we have been able to spend the holiday together! I love you- Mom

Geraldine said...

Nichole, believe me, I understand exactly what you are saying. I've been away for over 20 years and I still love going back to RI and my family. In another few weeks, A Pat, Kelly, Korey, Kennedy and I will be in NC.... can't wait to see you.

Michelle said...

Being a military family I completely understand where you're coming from! It is so hard being away from family. That's why I'm thankful I was able to move in with my mom while Joe's deployed - it gives the kids some real quality time to get to know their grandma too.

hugs to you, sorry you're missing your family right now!

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